Tuesday, September 14, 2010


This has been such a stressful week so far...and it is only Tuesday.


I've been running around on autopilot...attempting to be everything to everyone and everywhere for everyone and I'm having a rough go of it.


I have been trying to do it all myself. Pilot my own ship, so to speak.

And that is the problem.

Rather than allowing God to be in control, I'm doing it all myself.


So this afternoon in the midst of trying to do it all, I turned it over to God. I asked for help...not a strength of mine.

From Psalm 4:
Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

I almost, almost, almost ditched Bible study today. My to do list was a mile long, things at work seem (to me) to be out of control, there were jewelry orders to ship, groceries to be bought and laundry to be done.

Those 2 1/2 hours set aside for God's word seemed like a burden.


I forced myself to drive over there. I forced myself to steer my car into the parking lot. Once I parked my car and I thought to myself that nobody would even know if I didn't show up. I forced myself to get out and walk into the building.

Forced. Myself.

Seriously, my feet were like lead.

I walked in and was immediately enveloped into a world I love so much. My girlfriend was texting as I walked in...texting me, worried because I was late.


And then I sat and talked and laughed and prayed and ate yummy snacks, prayed some more and was then introduced to a gal that I'm going to become quite close to in the next few months...Esther.

I can't wait.

So tomorrow I am going to put one foot in front of the other. I am going to attempt to not run on autopilot, but to breathe in and out and take each moment as it comes. With God's help.


  1. Tuesday, I was ready to quit, too. Our Bible study meets at the same time as BSF. We have some new women, so there were about 14 of us. But, BSF was so big, there was no parking left! Still made it, but sneak out early so that I can make it to work.

  2. Our church is also starting the study of Esther offered twice a week so if you can't get to one the have the other option and I can't do either. I was sad...


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