Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Closure


Closure is an interesting thing.  

I love my little piece of the world wide web that I occupy and while I share lots of pieces of me and bits and pieces of my family, there are many things I choose not to ever blog about.  That's the beauty of blogging...you can do whatever works for you.   I've never believed that's it's my job to change the the world or sell something or force my beliefs on others...I've always just felt that this is a place for me to share a little piece of my life with the hopes that someday my grandchildren might get a sense of who I was.  That life in this little house on this little street was pretty darn good...that I was just, I dunno, normal.

Whatever 'normal' means.

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Last Thursday my Grandfather died.  I'm sad, though I hadn't seen him in a long, long time.  My family is not, ummmm, I don't know...connected?  So while I was sad at his passing and sad that I didn't know him in my adult life, I am more sad for the fact that that piece of my life is now over.  That all those really great childhood memories are now just that...great childhood memories. 

Anyway, my extended family is...splintered.  It's been that way for a long time and over the years I've spent many an hour thinking about how and why and what and when.  It hasn't consumed me, but it's always been there.  A sadness, a hoping for it to be different, a wondering if it could be changed.    

I was sad when I found out that my Grandpa was dying, but it was more than that.  I was sad that the people who should have let me know, didn't.  I don't know why I let it bother me so much, but it did.  I just wanted them to want to be a part of my life as much as I wanted to be a part of theirs.

I wanted them to want to call me.

I've prayed so much about all of this and the answers just never came.  Even before last week, I just prayed and prayed that they would want me.  That they would love not just me, but my beautiful, kind, funny, smart, smelly and normal boys.  That they would see what I've become.

Today though, I was given closure.  It happened in such a clear quiet way that I was shocked.  No one slammed a door on me or hung up on me, but in a phone conversation it became so apparent to me that it's all over.  We have shared a past but there won't be a future.  I have wanted it to be so much more for so long but now...but now?  Now there is this huge sense of peace.

I wouldn't have expected peace.  I think I expected sadness...but not peace.  I wasn't ready for it last year or even yesterday, but today...well, it was God's timing.  Just an ordinary Monday in January and God gave me closure.

And so, here I am...just an ordinary girl living an ordinary life.  But it's more, so much more.  I've come to realize that God does his best work on the ordinary days...that his hand is not only present during the big stuff.  That when he speaks, it isn't all about thunder and lightening bolts.

That sometimes the most important stuff is whispered and not shouted.

That the closing of a door isn't always bad, isn't a negative, isn't tragic, isn't ugly.  That the closing of a door is sometimes just the closing of a door.  And that the room you are left in is good...and full.  Full of boys and bills and laundry and chores...and love.

And THAT is what He wants me to see.



Monday, January 28, 2013

Winter Formal


The babe of the family is growing up.  This weekend?  Winter Formal, complete with a date.

A really, really sweet and lovely date.

The planning involved in this weekend was comparable to planning a NATO summit.  Limos and tickets and dinner and flowers and oh my word, they are Freshmen for pete's sake.  Thankfully, a friend was in the trenches with me and we pulled it all together at the last minute.

Our boys had no clue what we were going through, which I guess is how it should be but man oh man, this was one rough event to figure out.

I finally realized a day before the dance that Brian, like his brothers before him, is just a guy.  A regular 'ole guy who doesn't care much for the details.  Just make the plans and send him on his way.  Once that became clear, I became less crazy and just planned the whole thing out for him.

All was well.

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The dance was held at Knott's Berry Farm, which is a local amusement park.  They had a ballroom there, but more importantly they had access to the whole park and for a chunk of the evening their school had the run of the park to themselves.

There were two choices to made:
1. stay in a ballroom with loud music and dance or
2. ride every major roller coaster with no lines.

Brian's crowd chose the latter.

Roller coasters in formal wear?  Yeah, I don't get it either...I mean, why are we renting a tux for an amusement park?  Because, people, it's tradition.  Whatever that means.

My kid, in true Busch form, marches to his own drum.  Love that.  He asked (and was granted...because after all, he's the baby) for special shoes.

Patent leather converse high tops.

I'm actually a little jealous.

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His friends and their dates all went in a limo, stopping for dinner at In n Out on the way up.  They did the dance thing and rode rides and then were limo'd back to the school at midnight.  The funnest part about Brian is that he is a talker and after I picked him up, we sat over a bowl of cereal in the quiet of our sleeping house and he shared all the details that this mama likes to hear.

Things like who he saw and what they were wearing and what did he eat and how was the music...child #3 is the chattiest of my bunch.  It's really, really, REALLY nice to be the mom who gets asked by other moms for details about things because I have the boy who talks.  I have always been the mom who had to call the other moms to find anything out...so let me just say, publicly, that I like it better this way.  It'll probably end tomorrow, but for now I am enjoying it.  Immensely.

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My favorite picture of the night is the one above.  I LOVE photo bombers.  Hilarious.

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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Frying Everything In Sight


Our neighbors brought over a fryer that they never used and while I'm not big on frying things, I do live with a bunch of males who get all googly eyed at the idea of fried food.

So, because I like them, I fried a bunch of stuff.

In Italy it's called fritto misto, which just means 'mixed fried'.  It's one of our favorite things to order and you never know what you're gonna get...calamari, olives, artichokes and often times unrecognizable things that you would never eat if they weren't crispy and golden and accompanied by a crazy amount of great wine.

You get the picture.

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I did the generic version...artichokes and olives and zucchini and cheese and lemons.  The lemons, in my opinion, are the best thing you could ever eat.  Yum.  Oh, and this time around, a can of chickpeas that was floating around, fried up crispy and sprinkled with lots of salt and a little cayenne.

My boys gobbled them up like popcorn.  Is there any nutritional value in a garbanzo bean?  Probably not once it's dropped in a vat of boiling oil, but oh well.  Sure tasted good.

We sat in the a corner of the garden under a heater and drank champagne and munched the night away.  It was all fine and dandy...though I did get the 'when are you making a real dinner' look after a bit and threw together a quick pasta to satisfy the masses.

As for me, I was good to go.


The only downside to frying everything in sight, aside from the clogged arteries, is the fact that our little house on our little street still, 2 days later, smells like the inside of a fast food place.  No amount of candles or open windows seems to be helping.

Actually, you kind of smell it as you walk towards our house.  Lovely.

Next time, we're frying outside. And yes, there will be a next time.  It was sooooo good, plus I bought a  crazy amount of oil at Costco and we need to use it up.  I think we could fry up Texas in the amount of oil we now own and there is no way I'm letting it go to waste.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Everyday Life Stuff


Here's the latest news in boy land:

The babe of the family got fitted for a tux.  

The mama of the family shed tears.

Sigh.

Southern California.

Not a place I ever would've chosen to live and now?  I wonder why I was so close minded about it.

Love it here.

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My oldest.

We took a drive and went to go see him perform with a real live, grown up symphony orchestra.  And fed him dinner.  And slipped him a little cash.  And squeezed him. 

The whole way there I kept talking about how lonely he must be.  Turns out he's not.

Am I happy about that or not?

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The weather is my friend again.

Whew.

Our backyard lemon tree grows the BEST winter lemons.  They are thick skinned and the size of my head.  Seriously...each of these lemons will easily yield a 1/2 cup of juice.

Last year we got one lemon.  That guy that I like so much hacked it away (and threatened to cut it down) and this year it is almost collapsing due to so many lemons.

I like it better this year.

The boy in the middle.  He cracks me up.

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Bible study began yesterday.  We're digging deep into Revelation and I'm thinking it's time for me to share soon a revelation that I've had.  God has been so good and so faithful.  I'm thankful...so very, very thankful.

Lunch after was both filling and fulfilling.

Blessed.  I am blessed.

Today...a hike.  A house clean up.  I'm also making a fruitcake because yes, I love fruitcake.  I need to make something, anything for supper...especially since this week involves two basketball games, bunco and a girlfriends birthday dinner out.  My men-folk are hungry and need some home cookin' to make them happy. 

Gotta keep 'em happy.

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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Sunny and Fair


 Tired of hearing southern Californian's complaining about the weather?

Yeah, me too...even if that's all I can think about.  The cats are in and out, in and out, in and out.  Annoying, but they don't like the cold either.

Today, though, we are expecting sunny and fair during the daytime...that's 75 degrees!

So. Happy.

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I ran (trotted is actually a better word) my 5 mile trail yesterday.  I decided to do my old favorite, the one that once sunny and fair comes back to town so do the rattlesnakes which means it's completely out of the question.  But yesterday it was perfect and it just felt so good to be out in the fresh air.

I have been struggling a bit lately with my job...I like the job but it's a lonely job.  I spend a lot of time alone fixing things and getting blamed for things and after awhile I just crave someone, anyone, who I can talk to about it.  But alas, there's no one, so I keep plugging along.

Don't get me wrong...I like what I do and I'm thankful for it.  I'm just lonely.  Probably because I'm a girl and girls neeeeeed to talk things thru.

At least this girl does.

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Last night the basketball boys came and partied at our little house on our little street.  These are the boys who graduated last year and love each other like brothers.  They ate pizza and yelled the night away and I must say, I wish I wasn't hearing the stories they were telling.  They've only been out of high school since June...I'm not ready yet to hear everything they've done.

Maybe when I'm 70.

Maybe not.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

A Chilly Tuesday


I know that all of you who live in places where it truly gets cold are laughing at how wimpy us people in SoCal are and let me just say this...keep laughing.  We are wimpy.  But people, it is COLD.

This week I have taken to wearing my sons socks and a pair of gloves I dug out of the ski box in the attic.  The good news?  They're cute.  The bad news?  They aren't very warm, but they do the trick until the heat comes on in my car.

Tomorrow we are supposed to reenter the joys of 'sunny and fair' and I cannot. wait. a. minute. longer.

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Bible study started up again and it was so fun to see everyone again.  This semester we're digging in, Beth Moore style, to Revelation.  We were asked to read the book of Revelation out loud before class began...there is something so powerful about taking a whole book and reading it out loud.  

It's just nice to be back to the routine of things.

One of the best parts of Tuesday is the weekly lunch with the girls after.  There's nothing like a patty melt from Ruby's...especially if there is a black cherry malt on the side and a bunch of girl talk.

Perfect.

Basketball season is here.  The babe of the family is growing up so fast...tomorrow we need to go for a tux fitting because he asked his girlfriend to the winter formal.

Gulp.

Round three.  Here we go again!

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Supper tonight was something I pulled from the freezer because in an attempt to not eat out as much,  I made many double meals and froze the rest.  Brilliant, I tell ya, to walk in the house at 6:15pm with a starving family to dinner warming in the oven.  Tonight was stuffed shells...I threw together a salad to go with and voila!  Supper.

Left me plenty of time to play bingo on my iPad while watching The Biggest Loser.

Priorities.

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Monday, January 14, 2013

A Rather Nice Weekend


 Friday morning, as I do most mornings, I was awake before the sun.

Way before the sun.

My morning begins with me solving problems, listening to problems, causing problems (not usually, but everyone needs to blame someone and I am the easiest to blame...which, for the record, sucks alot of the time) and figuring out how to avoid problems.

It's fun.  Most of the time.

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Friday morning I found myself, coffee in hand (or in the car, actually) in Huntington Beach...a city I love.  Love, as in I could live here.  Or there.  I mean, I love where I live, but if I didn't live where I live I would live there.  It's beachy, yet not.  

The crossing guards are pretty stellar, too.  Well, most of the time.

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Saturday morning, Bri had practice at 7:00am.

The temp, FYI, was 32 degrees.

In Southern California...the land of 'sunny and fair'.  I am almost at my breaking point.  SO tired of cold fingers and toes and everything in between.

My lake, though, is pretty even when it's cold. 

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 Sunday was the annual Christmas party for my husbands students...the party where we take one teeny tiny house (1200 sq ft) and somehow squeeze 50 college students in it.  It's like the loaves and fishes...somehow it becomes big enough to fit everyone.  Not sure how, but it happens.

This year the party came late due to one professor who was on Sabbatical.  Sabbatical has come and gone and now, so has the party.   Also this year...new heaters in our garden which were a life saver considering it was 40 degrees outside.  

Turns out the big Bronco game was in the afternoon and one of my boys had his friends over to watch. Turns out the game went in to overtime and they didn't clear out until 30 minutes before the student party was starting.  Turns out some students were excited and arrive 30 minutes early.  Turns out...well, turns out that everything worked out just the way it was supposed to.

Kinda crazy, but I put them to work and all was well.  What can you do?

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I'd love to share all the fun pictures I took, but this is it.  Lots of food.  Lots of people.  Lots of laughing.  Lots of fun.

Sunday was the 'clean up the garden' day and laundry day and church going day and leftover from Thanksgiving turkey and gravy day and sitting on the couch playing bingo slingo on my iPad sort of day.

It was a lovely day.  

The house is not anywhere close to clean, but we have really fun music playing and that guy that I like so much has been shaking up new cocktails for us to try.

And personally, I love this toast:

Even though we packed a lot in, this felt like a real weekend.  I'm wishing it could last a bit longer, but oh well.  Only 5 days until the next one.

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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Just Regular Stuff


Southern California has been so very, very cold...and yes, I know that cold is actually colder in other parts of the world, but I am getting tired of being cold. all. the. time.  Considering the fact that a few months back I was tired of the heat leads me to believe that I am happiest when it is 78 and sunny all the time.

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I switch between coffee with fancy creamer (my current fave now that peppermint mocha is hard to find is ameretto) and hot tea.  Basically anything I can warm my hands on.

I'm two for two lunches this week and (gasp) I have another today.  Yesterday was one of my favorite spots...Nordstrom Cafe.  Their new roasted beet salad with a champagne orange vinaigrette is FABULOUS.  I should've taken an earlier picture but I could not stop eating long enough...and now I want to go back again and again.  I absolutely love beets.

What a weirdo.

Lunch today?  A groupon that needs to be used by today.  Is anyone free?  I'm going all by my lonesome since that guy that I like so much, sigh, has to work and the coupon expires today.  And by golly, I can't let a free lunch go to waste.

And this is what winter in So Cal looks like.  Don't let it fool you...it's COLD out there!

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Afternoons are being spent in the gym again.  Yesterdays game was a blow out...we won by 40.  It is so fun watching Brian become his own player...so hard to follow a big brother who played the same sport, but he is really coming in to his own.

Love that.


When the games are boring and Bri isn't in?  I play games on my phone.  My newest addiction (besides bingo!!) is bubbleXsplode.

Really, really fun!

Last night, after feeding my family a fast supper (at home, thankyouverymuch...no more suppers out in January!) of pasta amatriciana (it's just onions and bacon and crushed tomatoes and red pepper flakes) we watched yet another Downton Abbey.  Oh, and I made cupcakes.  From a box, but who cares?  I am so not a baker (too many directions to follow) but the house smelled sooo good.

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Today, work.  Hopefully a hike.  Lunch, maybe with someone; maybe alone.  (free, remember?) Laundry. A floor sweeping.  

Regular life stuff.  All good.

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