Being Seen

At the end of my little street, someone parked a porta potty.

And while most thought it was unsightly, I was trying to figure out a way to wheel it on down to my house and park it in my backyard. At which time I would put a sign on in that said,

"Dear boys. Feel free. Love, Mom."

I spent the morning at my first ever boutique, selling jewelry, and it went very well. I sold what I set out to sell and am now preparing for a sale on the website to reduce some of my inventory and to make room for some new pieces.

As a bonus, Nicole Johnson was at the tea speaking...and she did her Invisible Woman speech. I had heard her do it once before at a small gathering that we were both at a few years back and while it was great back then, it was powerful today.

Maybe because my invisibility is different today, and maybe even a little more than it used to be. Being a stay at home mom, having children leave the nest, starting a new job, being married to someone who has a job that is very public (of which I am not a part of)...I get the whole invisibility thing.

And lately I have been struggling.

I wasn't even supposed to be a part of the tea. I (and a great friend who came along to help) were only a part of the boutique...but at the last minute were told there was a table with two spots. And who can turn down free lunch?

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So we sat and ate and talked and then listened to Nicole speak. And once again, I cannot believe (my doubting Thomas self) how much I needed to hear her speak...and give the exact same speech that I had heard before.

And no, I am not invisible. God sees me.

So when I came home today after being gone for 8 hours and was greeted with 'MOMMM...can you pick me up from practice' and 'MOMMMM...can we go to the skatepark now?' and 'What's for dinner?' and to a house that looked (quite literally) like a bomb had gone off, to worrying about a son who lost a friend in a car accident yesterday...and when I mentioned that I just walked in the door and let me get unpacked, one of my boys said, "you've been gone?"

I am not invisible. God sees me. And together, we are building something great. In His glory.

And thank you, Grace...your kindness today was not invisible to me.

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The Itsy Bitsy Spider

I was pulling up to my sons college earlier today and I spotted a rather large, rather scary spider IN MY CAR, ABOVE MY HEAD.

Pulled over as fast as I could and called in the cavalry...otherwise known as my oldest son.

And this is what happened.

(and yes, I said a bad word. and yes, he said a rude comment to me. in both of our defenses, it was a very stressful situation. for me, at least.)

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Ramblings

I'm just sitting here, typing, at my kitchen counter. It's one of my favorite areas of my little house...mainly because it is right in the enter of all the action.

Though there isn't much action going on right now.

There was no school today, so I spent the morning at the skate park in the next town over, watching my youngest and his friends razor and bike and skateboard.

I even brought my laptop and enjoyed the free WiFi from some bagel place nearby, which I justified in my mind by telling myself, 'hey! I've eaten bagels before!" I know it is free, but I still felt guilty because I am not a customer. (But not guilty enough to sign off...sigh.)

I was also feeling guilty for the 2 (not 1) Krispy Kreme's that I ate this morning. I justified that one because there were only 2 left and the box is SO big and takes up SO much space, and I wanted to throw it out.

Whatever works, I tell ya.

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So I found myself at the skatepark alone. Alone...as in grown-up alone, because I am THE mom who is willing to drive boys all around so they can play. But I'm not sure you want me to start on THAT one, now do you?

Where was I?

Oh yeah...alone. With internet. I start blog surfing...something I don't do much of. I usually play on facebook and follow a couple of blogs...usually my cousins and a favorite cooking blog that always has great recipes. But this morning I stalked other blogs and realized something.

There are a LOT of bloggers that have LOTS of time on their hands and there are a LOT of perfect mothers out there.

I must've read 20 blogs this morning that were full of beautiful, photoshopped pictures...all cropped and framed and gorgeous. And these people blog every single day.

And then I grazed upon all the blogs where these moms can do it all...cook and clean and homeschool and are raising perfect humans to boot.

So now I am feeling not just guilty, but inadequate.

Anyone got anymore Krispy Kreme's for me?

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So, back to my safe, warm little kitchen counter. That guy that I like so much had to work today and I am waiting for him to appear at our little door of our little house, Alex is playing basketball (minus a cell phone, which broke this morning and a new one is being fed ex'd here on Friday) with friends and Brian's rather large group of friends all just headed home. I'm drinking a diet pepsi (I don't really like diet pepsi...I do like diet coke and I really like fresca..just in case you were wondering) and am trying to decide between making pork chops pizzaiola or reheating the leftover pasta from last night...the glorious one with sausage and eggplant in it.

(big breath...those were some lonnnngggg sentences!)

Though while typing that, I decided on the pork chops. Tomorrow is a really busy day, so I'll save the leftovers for then.

So, I had better get cooking. ABBA is singing in the background...though I had a rather strong desire to play George Winston's December. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

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What Was and What Is

Our weekend was spent at basketball games, though just to mix it up a bit, we were there for the smallest shrub.

Who was being coached by his next in line bigger brother. Who had a ball, by the way, and thought it was the funnest gig ever.

The boys had fun, too. Lost one and won one...and only one shot in the wrong basket. And yes, that one wrong shot was by my son, who was just following in his big brothers footsteps. Matthew once scored a beautiful goal (and I mean, it was gorgeous, for a 5th grader) in soccer...for the other team. Alex, in this very same tournament a bunch of years ago, made a gorgeous lay up (probably his first ever, in 5th grade) for the other team. And Brian was not about to be outdone...and thankfully we won and didn't lose by 2 points.

But here's where I gush just a bit. His brother, the coach could have yelled or ridiculed or made fun of him...but didn't. He handled it with grace and humor and exactly the way a mama (who was watching from afar) would have wanted one of her sons to handle it. And I am proud. So, so proud.

That guy that I like so much arrived home with some orange tulips. Just because.

Sigh.

I have hammered and hammered and hammered (just in case you were to think that I only hammered once or twice) until my arm is sore...and now I am ready for this weekends boutique.

My work week has started out slow...which is kinda nice. I did make a huge pot of Italian Beef yesterday since our Monday night dinners tend to be on the run. Tonight will be something light...and something with eggplant FOR SURE, simply because I have a hankering for eggplant and I am the Queen.

So there.

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Saturday

It's always nice to pull up at the same time as that guy that I like so much, because he is always willing to unload my car for me.

Though I am thinking he was being nice to me because of what was in this bag...and all I know is that it meant him going to the store early in the morning and spending a lot of money for some new contraption.

But it's making him smile.

Lots.

And I did NOT tell the Verizon guy on the phone that my husband just bought the new 'V' over and over, which completely confused him. And then I did NOT tell the guy, 'oh, it's not a 'V'...it's an adnoid!'

Nope. Not me.

(for the record, it's a droid. whatever THAT means.)

What makes me smile?

THIS does. Yummy. Though I caught Alex taking a swig of it right out of the container. Weirdo. He also loves half and half and has been known to swig that right out of the container, too.

But only when I'm not looking.

Sigh.

That guy that I like so much is somewhere with his choir all day today...and yes, I should know where and I did know where, but I forgot. Should have written it down on a post it note, just like everything else.

I left boys #2 and #3 at home after taking them with me to Costco. On a Saturday. Yep. The poor free sample people never even knew what hit them. But anyway, I left them at home with a large cheese pizza while I went and had a much needed pedicure.

With only a vanilla latte and an US magazine to keep me company.

Life is good now.

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I threw together a rather large pot of beef short ribs, which are now slowly roasting in the oven and will be served alongside some garlic mashed potatoes. The house smells so good...plus I've got the American President on in the background while I am hammering out lots and lots of jewelry orders...and in between I am playing Cafe World on facebook.

But somehow I got distracted and took a picture of my toes and decided to blog about them.

Strange.

Speaking of strange...there are some ripe figs on my tree outside just waiting to be picked. Remember what happened the last time I picked a fig?

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Feeling Lonely

I spent part of yesterday in a meeting and came home needing PEOPLE...yes, I was surrounded by them at the meeting but I don't really know any of them. So it was kinda lonely.

But the meeting was interesting and lunch was yummy and I am LOVING my new little job, so it wasn't all bad. Just lonely.

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So I walked in the house and soon after Brian arrived home from school with a whole group of friends...I had asked for people, right?

And then that guy that I like so much came in the front door and immediately started mixing cocktails.

And then Alex came home all sweaty and stinky and smiley and happy from practice with a few of his crew in tow.

People (and shoes...so many shoes!) everywhere.

And I wondered...would I ever feel lonely again?

Hope not.

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I finally checked the mail and this was waiting for me...isn't it beautiful? It is gorgeous...thanks, Laura!

This morning was one of those early to rise and get out of the house mornings...and I felt so productive. I am usually out and about early, but today I was in my car by 7am, coffee in hand (which I didn't drink, but I thought about drinking...does that count?) and off to see 3 different guards.

And the best part?

Not a one yelled at me. Or complained. Or griped.

Everyone was happy and smiley and calm.

I like that.

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Finished in time to volunteer at Brian's school and then grocery shop...and then I had to head to the orthopedist to pick up the bazillion dollar new blue box which holds the brace that allows my son to play basketball.

And guess what?

It wasn't a bazillion dollars because my insurance decided to cover it.

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Since I was already in Newport Beach, I decided to grab some lunch and eat it on the beach...just because.

So I ate this...

...while I looked at that...

...and ate this...

...while I looked at that.

Just me and the ocean and the birds and my toes in the warm, warm sand.

Nothing could have made it more perfect...well, maybe a napkin would have been nice.

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The Past Couple Of Days

Sunday morning found all five us worshipping at the same church...something that doesn't happen very often at this time of year. Matthew is away at school and M is often on the road at other churches with his choir, so this morning was special. Not that we sat together...Matthew played trumpet for all the services, but at least we were all in the same place.

I like that.

After, we went to lunch at Portillo's for Italian Beef...and then to fill up the college boy's gas tank before he headed back to school.

Is it winter break yet?

Our fence still looks like this...I haven't had the time to throw a boy up on the roof to take it all down. But I love this picture because on each end of the fence sits one of our girls...SO CUTE!

I've been cooking lots of fun wintery kinds of things and have reawakened my squash fetish...last night stuffed with tortellini in a simple sage béchamel.

With a side of chicken for the carnivores that I live with.

I am loving the time change and the romantic foggy mornings...I was going to stop at starbucks for a coffee this morning but was too cold to hop out of my car.

Oh...and it is so not cool to run into the grocery store wearing a BRIGHT yellow crossing guard jacket.

Just trust me on that one.

I came home this morning with the grand plans of hammering out some jewelry and cleaning the house and doing the laundry, but instead I sat on the couch and watched Bridget Jones's Diary and FELL ASLEEP.

I never nap.

Though I don't sit down during the day, either.

But it felt so good to curl up on the couch with an afghan...and I slept until my phone rang inviting me for lunch.

And hey...who can turn that down?

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So off I ran to meet the girls at Corner Bakery...have you tried their pumpkin whoopie pies yet?, and now I feel all caught up with everyone.

That guy that I like so much is working late tonight, so the boys are deciding (right now, as I type this) which drive-thru we should, ummmm...drive-thru.

I am still full so they are lucking out.

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