Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Overly Chaotic

My work year began and I immediately was sucked into pure and utter someone new, things that should've been done weren't, fixing major problems, working 15-16 hour days, questioning why I put myself through this all and then, just like it always does in life, it all started to settle in to a rather crazy and more smooth sailing routine.

This too shall pass...but until then, I am reminding myself to breathe.

I'm not always successful.

I had a few hours to kill last week and since school has started, I thought I'd run in to the park to grab some lunch while I was waiting.  In the end, a work call caused me to turn around right as I got off the monorail and that was ok because it is so gosh darn hot here that I was actually afraid I might melt.

But I need a Disney day.  Soon.

The last of the summer garden was picked and I've got to figure out what to plant for winter.  I'm sure I'll do some beans and tomatoes and possibly broccoli...I need to do that relatively soon.

You know, with all my free time lately.


My tall middle boy has discovered a love of grilling and boy oh boy oh lucky are we?  

Very lucky.


So one day last week  I had a little melt down.  The house was a mess.  The laundry was piled up.  The refrigerator was empty.  I was tired and cranky and everyone just kept asking for more and more and more.

I called that guy that I like so much at work and just started to cry.  He talked me into lacing up my shoes and told me to force myself to hit the trail.  I didn't want to go...there was work to be done and a house to clean and food to shop for and food to cook and blah, blah,  blah.

But I did.  I put on my tennies and did 4 long, slow, painful miles.  I cried.  I complained.  And then, just like that, I started to feel better.  Lighter.  Less stressed.  The sky was blue and the air was warm and the trail was quiet.

It was just what the doctor ordered.


And then, last Friday, I attended the Propel conference.  I had no clue what it was...I had bought my ticket with my bible study group months before and all I knew was that Beth Moore was speaking.

Not just Beth Moore but Brian Houston from Hillsong preached, Elevation Worship sang, Christine Caine spoke, Beth Moore and then Lisa Harper.  

The whole event was encouraging women to become christian leaders and all I can say is that I walked away changed.  Encouraged.  Empowered.  

To be reminded of Gods purpose for me, to be reminded that my calling (as a stay at home mom) has NOT changed because I am not called to a job...I am called to Jesus, to be reminded of the power of prayer - I can't say it enough, but I. am. changed.

I'm still processing, still reading my notes, still praying for clarity but I am so in awe that this event happened when it did.  To see and hear people I have long admired, to be surrounded by women, to worship for 10 was so very, very incredible.

I am changed. 

 I am blessed.

And then, just like that, the babe turned 17.

Wasn't it yesterday that I held him on the day he was born?

My middle boy and baby boy look so much alike...Brian is always mistaken for Alex.  


College next year?


It's going fast.  Too fast.

So that's been what's been going on.  I miss this space and need to find that balance again...that balance where there is work and then there is home.  



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