Saturday, May 25, 2013

I Don't Even Know Where To Begin

On Thursday morning, bright and early at 7:30am, I received a call from the city of Colton's police department.  Matthew's car had been found in the parking lot of a 99 cent store about 30 miles away from where it had been stolen the previous Saturday.

They gave us 30 minutes to pick up the car or they were going to tow it to an impound lot...the problem was, we live over an hour away and our beautiful son was on a trip to Vegas.  

Great timing, Matteo.

They wouldn't give us any info on the condition of it, other than the stereo had been ripped out and the ignition was damaged.  No clue as to anything else...such as to whether or not there were tires or even an engine.

After going back and forth, I told them to tow it.

Schedules were rearranged and that guy that I like so much and I headed out to figure this situation out. We had everything with us that you need to get a car that you own free and clear back into your cards, title, drivers license.  Oh, and the bill for the registration since the actual registration was in the car.  Which was, quite obviously, stolen.

We arrived at the PD an hour or so away and go in to get the release.  It takes awhile, but they finally conclude that we are the owners.  They send us on our way to the impound lot a few miles away...on the other side of the tracks.  Literally.

Impound lot #2 in a month.  That's gotta be a record.

If you've never been to one...and well, I've only been to two, they aren't in the best of neighborhoods.

Just sayin'.

All I could think was that I was SO glad that guy that I like so much was along for this journey.  Now he can cross that off his bucket list, too.


I must say, the impound lot in Colton is a step up from the impound lot in Fontana.  Still creepy, but definitely a bit nicer...on the inside anyway.

Our friend Fred brought us to the car and this is where it gets interesting.  He asks us for the keys and, well...where oh where are the keys?

One set is in Vegas with Matthew and the other set?


The keys...they are at home.

You have GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING. ME.

By now, I'm on low blood sugar.  That guy that I like so much is rolling his eyes.  Fred, the impound guard, starts telling us that his marriage ended after 23 years to a situation like this.  Michael and I start having one of those conversations that you can only have with someone you've been married to for a long, long time...the ones where all the words you need to say are said in a non verbal way.

The crossing of arms, which means  'you idiot, you forgot the keys at home?'
The pursing of lips, which means 'you need to figure this out.  Now.'
The rolling of eyes, followed by the turning of your back, which means 'I am so mad at you right now, this is all your fault, there is no way in hell I am driving 3 hours to get the keys, I wonder if I can a good sandwich somewhere around here?'

Fred, out new impound friend, then makes a comment...and it it goes like this:

"Hey.  Are those Ray-bans?  I like Ray-bans."

He then pulls out a key and offers it to us in exchange for that guy that I like so much's sunglasses.

He's trying to dicker...Ray-ban's for a master Honda key.

And here's where it happens.  That guy that I like so much gets a little smile on his face because he knows what is about to happen.  He knows me well.  He squeezes my hand, looks at Fred with a bit of pity and nods his head as if to say, 'go to it.'

What Fred didn't know is that even though I drove up in a convertible...well, I get him.  Fred is one of my people.  His kind are my kind.  I am more like Fred than I'm not.

And there was NO WAY under the sun that he was getting those sunglasses.

Many, many words were spoken...calm, kind, funny words in my 'inner hood' dialect and in the end the car was started up with a mail key on that guy that I like so much's key ring. After adding up all the repair costs, we called the insurance and told them to tow it, fix it, call us when it's done.  Fred told us that our insurance was going to auction it off, tried again to offer us a master key, asked again for the Ray-Bans.

No deal.

I have no clue where the car is now.  The sunglasses are still in our possession.  Fred has his master key.

By now, it's mid afternoon and I was hungry and grumpy and tired.  We drove to Riverside, to the Mission Inn, and had the best lunch ever at Simple Simon's.  It's a bakery/sandwich place and the food was incredible.  I've heard the Mission Inn is all decked out at Christmas time...I can't wait to go back.

And this carrot cake?

Worth the trip to an impound lot.


Beautiful there.  Absolutely beautiful.'s always an adventure.  Never a dull moment around these parts.   I have no idea where the car is and frankly, I don't care.  It's not in my I'm not going to worry about it.  


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