Empty

My car failed its smog check...$160 repair and a 100 mile road trip to reset the computer and now we are once again legal and on the road again.  She's a great car and at 137,000 miles still seems relatively new to me and, thankfully, my personal mechanic agrees.

The biggest issue is that it almost never gets driven anymore but that is soon to change.  The youngest shrub, sigh, is doing his drivers ed and will most likely have his permit within the next month.

Here we go again.  

The garden is in full bloom and I'm dreaming of Friday night dinner parties.  We haven't had an open weekend since who knows when and there doesn't seem to be any anytime soon.

I think that's part of my attitude problem lately...I've been sad and frustrated and short fused and basically no fun lately.  It's been rainy and cold and work has been a nightmare and I'm just tired.  

Very, very tired.

 That guy that I like so much was on Spring Break this week...though he ended up working almost the whole week. He's conducting a HUGE concert in a few weeks...the Bach St. Matthew Passion and while it is a major life-long thing for him, it's a major life-infringer for us here at home.  

Bach and I are having major space issues and Bach is winning...but hear me now.  Come April, once this concert is over, he's getting kicked to the curb and I'm reclaiming my boyfriend.  

So there.

Basically, here's the low down.  My normally half-full glass is empty.  It's not half-empty or a quarter- full or a third empty or whatever...it's just empty.

There's not even a drop in that glass.

It's dry.  My glass is dry.

And then stuff happens.  Today it was worship. Brian and I went to our home church and the worship there is always so deep and real and incredible.  God is so present.  The Word spoken is true.  

I just let it all soak in and I realized that it's not me that fills my cup, it's Him.  I can try and try and try but it all just floods out the bottom but if I let Him fill me up...through his word and prayers and song, it all stays put.

Oh ye of little faith.

So here's to a new week, with a full cup.  Here's to a better attitude, to not letting the little stuff bug me, to feeling more present and whole and nice.

That's it...here's to being nice this week.

Cheers.

=0)