In The Dark Of The Morning

Before I went to bed last night I began reading through old posts on this space...I've got to read some of my favorites in a talk I'm giving this week and soon got carried back in time.  It's funny how you look back and think that life was a whole lot easier way back when but really, it was just as hard as it is today.

I mean, I remember the births of these three boys as being magical and quiet and so filled with love...which they were, you know, when my body wasn't being over taken by pain.

But the pain part fades into just a story...the whole beauty from ashes thing.

In the last few days I've written that phrase 'beauty from ashes' to two different people I love so much...I love that passage in Isaiah that talks about joy to mourning and then later the planting of the Lord.  It makes me think of my garden...of how those seeds I planted a few months back are now giving me so many vegetables and it's through nothing I've done.  I've forgotten to water them for days on end but because this season is damp and chilly, it's all been taken care of for me.  

His hand is always so present...even when we don't see it.  

So this morning...this dark, quiet 4:00am morning, it's just me and a hot pot of coffee and my prayers.  I'm awake for a reason - and sleep will come later.  

I'm missing that guy that I like so much this week...though facetime is one of the greatest inventions ever.  But still, it's not the same as having someone to talk to about every little thing the moment I think it.

I walked the beach for a few miles yesterday and it made me miss him even more.  This semester has been so long and busy and just plain hard...but summer is coming.  Soon.

And here's a little throwback I came across...this was the day little Brian started kindergarten and for me, after 14 years of being home at home with one boy or another, I suddenly found myself with a few hours of freedom during the day.  Oh, how I remember that time and how sweet it felt.

Boy #2...see his face?  Yeah...he sure made life anything but quiet during his school years.

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It's now 5:00am, I'm now on cup #2 of coffee and I've already handled a work call from the east coast...which tells me it's time to officially start my day.  I'm heading rather local this morning...my dentist appointment yesterday revealed nothing major is wrong (hallelujah!) and today is my scheduled cleaning.  After that, I'm kinda thinking I'll stop for a gallon of paint and pass the next few days with a brush in my hand.

Unless I change my mind and take a nap instead.

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